Growing up in the south I often heard the phrase, “Bless their heart” from the dear women around me. To those who have not had that privilege, let me explain how this phrase is a super power. A southern lady can say whatever she wants (positive, negative, judgmental it doesn’t matter) about someone and then add, “bless (his, her, their, your) heart” afterwards and come off looking like a concerned and caring person. For example, you could say, “Oh my, that child is as ugly as sin. Bless his sweet little ol’ heart.” Or you could say, “That man is goin’ to run himself into the ground. Bless his heart.” It really doesn’t matter what you say, if you tack on that phrase you are still demonstrating southern gentility and care. It is amazing!
What I hope to be able to do, is be a good, kind, southern woman who helps her neighbors and her community, but who doesn’t come off as an easy target. Like Teddy Roosevelt said, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” I need the equivalent action to the phrase “bless your heart,” but in reverse. Instead of the insult then blessing, I need the, “Here let me help you with that, but don’t you dare try anything.” I love the NRA’s “Refuse to Be a Victim Seminar” because it helps to clarify how you can do this a little better. When we are able to identify vulnerable times, places, and actions we can adjust our demeanor and behavior for riskier situations.
One of my favorite examples might be a person on the side of the road waving for help. You can call 911 and not get yourself physically in close contact. The same goes for someone stopping at your home needing assistance. Modern technology allows us stay in our homes, talk to someone through our doorbell and offer to make a call for them.
Is there a magic, “bless their heart” for self defense with kindness? Perhaps not a single magical action, but I do believe that the same instincts that lead a woman to desire to protect herself and others also help her to find a way to always act with care. We can learn to speak softly and carry a big stick.
2 Responses
Well said. It is a challenge for all of us. I know I feel a lot of compassion for others, which is good, but it can also make me an easier target for those who donot have good intensions. I really appreciated your Refuse to be a victim class.
Nicely said, but is there anyway you can incorporate the link for the webinar? Or for the NRA’s website?